Silly old bear

The things that make me different are the things that make me ~ Pooh

Greetings from Singapaw

This is was where I lived. It is where I grew up. My family has lived here for 20 years until they recently sold the property and moved out to a smaller apartment. Every evening, we used to walk around the block to feed the stray cats around. Each cat has their own character and we developed a strong bond with some. They came and went, bringing us as much joy as sorrow. I came and went too and never said a proper goodbye to those who have crossed the rainbow bridge and those who still remained. I’m sorry I left you all behind. I miss you.

I am leaving again for Australia, (sadly) not for permanent and not for conference but happily, on a holiday with my mum. Please forgive my absence, I’ll catch up with my friends here when I’m back, take care everyone! 🙂

Open letter to the International Association for Suicide Prevention

“Case reports suggest that life stressors are an important factor associated with suicidal behaviors, since people with AS tend to have exaggerated responses to what the general population might consider to be a common event. They also have a harder time adjusting to life changes, particularly changes which upset routines which they obsessively follow.” (Richa et al. 2014)

Autistic people are often said to be rigid and aversive to changes. What about you? Are you as rigid as I am? I’m making a plea to change the way we think and write about people with autism. Are you willing to make that change? Please help to improve the mental health outcomes of autistic people.

Dear Walden

Many studies have consistently found that autistic individuals display a higher risk of suicidality. UK autism research charity, Autistica, released a report in 2016 with the alarming finding that “autistic adults without a learning disability are 9 times more likely to die from suicide”, referring to it as a hidden public crisis. In a recent survey of community attitudes and behaviours towards autism in Australia, 98% of respondents reported they have heard of autism but only 29% agreed to some extent that they have a good understanding of how to support people with autism, whereas only 4% of autistic people agreed that most people in the community know how to support them. The increase in ‘awareness’ of autism has not led to an increase in support and acceptance for individuals on the spectrum, a sentiment echoed by many in the autistic community (note: I use both identity-first language and person-first…

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Dropping the F-bomb

Why do I do the things I do

Why do I write in the name of raising awareness

If not for fame and fortune

Then it must be love and passion

The passion for life that I must keep my hope alives

The fear for life that I would leave my loved ones behind

The need to dream

The need to survive

To save myself because no one could

That’s why I write

To share my story

To have a voice

Loud and firm

In order to be heard

But I find myself in society’s rat race

Competing for attention amongst millions other talented

Stripping away my moral high ground

Admitting that I do want to be known after all

More likes, more shares, more followers… oh WTF

For how else am I going to prove that I’m worthy of moving to another new country?

On what grounds will I be admitted if I haven’t got the money and skills?

I therefore admit I do the things I do because I’m after fame and fortune

And I want it fast

Because the F-bomb is ticking fast and furious

Please feel free to (or not to) share any of my posts, or if you have any advice on immigration or better still, just get me out of this country!

Yours sincerely,


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Quiet space

After the end of a 2-day conference and on my walk back to the hotel, I sat down by the park and wrote this:

Today is the end of day 2 of the conference. I heard there were about 500 delegates. It was a much bigger conference than the mental health conference where I presented in July, and a lot noisier too. I’m glad I didn’t have to queue or mingle with the crowd during lunch time as there was a designated social space for autistic people to hang out. There was also a quiet room but I didn’t get to use it. There was no need for me to. I didn’t have to travel far to find my quiet space. I prefer to take solitary breaks by taking short walks outside the conference venue. Walking keeps me relax and that’s much better than being in a quiet room. I don’t need a quiet room if I can find peace and nature outdoors. For a long time, I didn’t think I stim but I was reminded that the act of walking involves the repetitive motion of putting one foot in front of the other. In Australia, even in a capital city like Brisbane, I could just take a break and step outside where there’s space for me to roam and breathe, without coming into physical contact with anyone. Unlike where I’m residing now, I have trouble keeping people away from me even if I just stood still. At this point, I felt isolated because I am the minority (cultural) of a minority (neurodivergent) and nobody truly understands how much my environment is killing me.

Below are pictures taken outside/near the conference venue.

A lovely walk in the park nearby
I sat here to pen my thoughts
Taking a selfie 🙂

This is the poster I put up at the conference (click to enlarge). Judging from the lack of response in my blog, I’m going to say not many people have read it. It is disappointing but I will admit I didn’t pay much attention to others too (information and sensory overload). There are many others who are making positive contributions to the autistic community. I am merely a dreamer from a foreign land, who am I to compete with them? I wasn’t trained in the field of science and I don’t even have a research degree, who am I to criticise the “experts” and “professionals”?