Mental Health Monday

Sorry everyone, I’ve been busy, my new blog will be delayed for a bit.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my previous post.

I have two burning questions on mental health that I need to get it off my chest. I willย  later explain in a longer post the reasons that prompted these questions.

(1) “People who die by suicide are selfish.” Do you …

(a) agree

(b) disagree

(c) neither agree nor disagree

(2) “People who die by suicide are selfish” – is this statement stigmatizing people who are suicidal?

(a) yes

(b) no

(c) not sure

Personally, I wouldn’t say that a person who suicide is selfish and I think that such a statement is very stigmatizing. What do you think? Diverse but respectful opinions are welcomed. If you have struggled with mental health problems and suicidal thoughts, I would like to hear from you too.

21 thoughts on “Mental Health Monday

    1. Thanks Ashley, I thought the same but I doubted my own feelings, I even searched your blog for related topics. I was just horrified after reading an article on this that suggested otherwise and it was supposedly written by someone who is a mental health advocate.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. No, it’s definitely not selfish. However, I have come across several people (mostly people I’ve had contact with online) whose parents have committed suicide and from their point of view as children losing a parent, I understand how it must seem that way to a child. The parent has suddenly removed themselves from the child’s life – so to the child it seems selfish. Unfortunately as people grow up, their opinions often don’t change from the emotions they experienced as children. But no, it’s not a selfish act on the person committing suicide: it’s an act of desperation when nothing else seems possible. As for your second question, yes, it is stigmatizing them, however – it doesn’t have to. In my opinion, if people who come out with these sorts of statements were ignored, all would be well. They are the same sort of people who say to someone with depression ‘pull yourself together’. I’d like to hear them say that to someone with a broken leg. Illness is illness.

    And yes, I’ve had mental health problems. Up to a point, I still do.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Thanks Val, I understand and agree with what you said. I posted these questions because I doubted my own feelings and the reason I doubted my own feeling is that the person(s) who said it is supposedly a mental health professional/advocate. You are right, it doesn’t have to be stigmatizing but when people who are supposed to help are spreading messages like these, I find that disturbing.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks Liz. That’s also one of the problems with the medical model to suicide prevention. I can understand why people who lose someone to suicide would think it’s selfish but that’s not the way forward to prevent people from suicide.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Not selfish, yes stigmatized.
    Just reading the questions makes me feel a little angry, especially the first one.

    Of course, the word “selfish” has such a negative connotation, so that’s part of it. So naturally if suicide is “selfish” which means “bad”, anyone who has thoughts of suicide must be “bad”.
    Yep, makes me angry.

    Hope you’ve been happily busy, not stressed out busy! ๐Ÿ’Œ

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Gran! I’m kind of stressed out busy with work, study and course enrolment stuff… feeling information overload… I really didn’t want to post any more stuff on this blog but my new blog isn’t ready yet and I have a bunch of questions that I need to get off my chest.๐Ÿ˜ฃ

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Val makes a very valid point about the perception of children who lose a parent to suicide. It’s natural that a child would feel that the parent had selfishly abandoned them. However, for adults to stigmatize people driven to such despair as “selfish” is an irresponsible, judgmental oversimplification.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I agree with you on both questions. No, they are not selfish. Yes it is stigmatizing to declare they are selfish. It saddens me to think otherwise. Do take care ๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m sad too to hear people say that. Like Liz said, general statements like these are unhelpful. I don’t think it’s wise and ethical to prevent suicide by stigmatizing suicides. Thanks Suzanne, you take care too! โค๏ธ

      Liked by 2 people

  5. As a survivor of two family members who died by lethal means I am conflicted. I am understanding they felt like cornered raccoons with no relief but to take their paws and shoot. I did consider the way I felt and it felt awful they left me behind to deal with the mess. These types of thoughts put survivors at risk to follow suit. It is complicated. I am in a healthier place thought wise regarding suicide. I just know I could not handle one more loved family or friend to dispose of themselves. I advocate getting in their business and seeking help. Even then, we cannot live their life. It reeks of desperation to blame our weaknesses and not find something to latch onto that can save us from deep despair. I honestly have no answers. Thanks Lyn.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Jeanne, I’m sorry if this post causes you any distress. I invited you to comment because I wanted to hear from different perspectives. I’m not looking for answers, I don’t think there is but I hope we can make better informed choices on how to deal with it based on what we know.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. No. It is a great and thoughtful post. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ I took my thoughts beyond the post and dove into my head. I became a distraction.

        I will try and be more honest here. It kinda feels selfish at first when someone pulls their plug. This is after the fact and someone is gone. You feel left behind. There, i said what most feel is wrong to say. But it was my gut-wrenching response. Over time I mellowed. Thought rationally about the person. I never saw either person in emotional pain as they hid it quite well. I heard stories of my grandfather wrestling within but never witnessed it. My brother appeared his thoughtful self, smiling and asking how i am. I ran our last encounter over and over in my head for ten years. And i did miss a clue but it was hindsight that led me to know buried truth.

        To blame someone for wanting to die while alive is wrong. They are suffering. If they come to us, we should be prepared to help, not blame them for our insecurities.

        Does this better clarify where I stand? It is complicated. And thank you for reaching out.

        Where is your new blog? Will you be directing us there? Hugs, Jeanne ๐ŸŒŠ๐Ÿš๐Ÿ•Š

        Liked by 2 people

  6. As someone who has suffered from suicidal thoughts, I definitely agree with you. I wish the argument โ€œThey didnt thought about their friends and family when they killed themselves.โ€ Itโ€™s just not true. When I had those thoughts, my family (not friends, I donโ€™t really have friends)were always at the forefront of my mind.

    Liked by 3 people

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