What’s next?

Yesterday was my last day at work. I was offered a renewal that I’ve turned down. I must be crazy for giving up my safety net, because it would be terribly hard for me to find another job that doesn’t involve much commute. In a nutshell, I’m taking a risk with a decision I may regret later. Having said that, there is a chance I might return on a part-time basis, which I am more amenable to, my employer seems open to it too. It’s not the first time I gave up the security of a full-time job in order to pursue my own interest. Although money is important, I can’t do things just for the money, at least not while I’m still stuck in a miserable place. The least I could do is to find something that stimulates my interest, it will make my life here more bearable.

What’s next? I’m attending a conference in Brisbane next week. I’m excited because this will be my first time attending a conference on autism and it’s not the kind where so-called professionals gathered around to boast speak about their latest research but the type of autism conference where I will be expecting autistic speakers and attendees. I won’t be speaking but I will have a poster presentation on the topic of autism and stigma, specifically how the medical model perpetuates the stigma and how others can help to improve the lives of people on the spectrum. Coincidentally, the conference has a theme titled “Working Together” and the abstract title I submitted begins with “Working Together”, which kind of coincide with this year’s World Suicide Prevention Day’s theme, “Working Together to Prevent Suicide”. I wanted to include a link in the poster to my open letter, which means I have to post my open letter earlier than intended, and here it is if you haven’t seen it.

After flying back from Brisbane, I will take a break in September. I’ll be flying back to Singapore and then to Australia again, but this time, it’s Sydney. Some of you may know, I visit Australia for holiday each year with my mum, we usually go during the winter months (June-August) to escape the summer heat. However, because of my work schedule this year, we have to postpone our trip to September.

After coming back from the trip, and without the commitment of a full-time job, hopefully, I can have more time to work on my research proposal. I can’t afford overseas, so I’ll enrol for a research degree in the local university. The government has recently waived tuition fees for local students so that’s a great incentive for me to apply. I don’t have to wait for somebody else to do the research I want them to do, I’m going to do it myself. I know I’m speaking way too early but knowing myself, I hesitate too much, I need to just do it. Nevermind the outcome, just do it! It’s ok if I fail. I didn’t create this blog knowing I’d succeed, I never promised I’ll move to Australia one day, I try to make it happen but dreams don’t always come true. Still, that doesn’t stop me from trying and this is what this blog is about.

Have a great weekend! ❤

My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit
I don’t want to wait anymore, I’m tired of looking for answers
Take me some place where there’s music and there’s laughter
I don’t know if I’m scared of dying but I’m scared of living too fast, too slow
Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no I’ve got to go
There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
And you’ve just gotta keep on keeping on
Gotta keep on going, looking straight out on the road
Can’t worry ’bout what’s behind you or what’s coming for you further up the road
I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong
I try to keep on keeping on
Yeah I just keep on keeping on
I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I’ve made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won’t take the easy road
I’ve woken up in a hotel room, my worries as big as the moon
Having no idea who or what or where I am
Something good comes with the bad
A song’s never just sad
There’s hope, there’s a silver lining
Show me my silver lining
Show me my silver lining

16 thoughts on “What’s next?

  1. I always love the music you share! I’m so excited for you both in your upcoming journey to Australia and the possibilities that lie ahead of you. Keep on keeping on – Koko! 😊❤️

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Yes! Always koko! It’s fun to say isn’t it and gives you a bit of spunk! It makes me happy to know my poems do some good 😊. Thank you for taking time to read them. I lost my dad a little over a week ago so, in a way I’m starting a new journey too. Taking the days one at a time just now. Take care, suzanne ❤️

        Like

      2. My closest and loved ones are still around but I always have a nagging worrying and anxiety that I will lose one of them, the question is when. There will be heartbreak, there will be regrets. As you so beautifully described, dancing between dreams and responsibilities, it is hard to choose between.💕

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Bestest of luck taking the plunge! There’s a lot of freedom in striking out on your own. It’s the scariest mother-F-er I’ve ever been through, but it’s the ultimate freedom and it’s not your first love rodeo, so you know at least a bit about what lies ahead. Go you! 👏🏼😁🏆❣️

    Liked by 3 people

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