Aspie in Wanderland

5 April 2017☀️
I woke up this morning and find myself in my favourite place on earth!

This will be a perfect day to hang out with my best mates. I just need to go find them in one of my favourite hangout place.

Someone once told me books are the best friends you could ever have and how true this is! Well, books and cats… and music… and nature. I could spend the entire afternoon here but I have a better idea. Before that, I just have to grab a cup of tea and a slice of heavenly strawberry-watermelon cake from my favourite cafe.

With my best companions, we head out to the perfect picnic spot and lay upon the grass where we spend the afternoon in sweet serenity.

The day gets even better when my furry friend decides to show up after a nap!  I ❤️ 😻


MEANWHILE, IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE IN BLAH BLAH LAND,
This morning I woke up to a lovely post by Aspergreatness-Liberty of Thinking on escapism, referring to one of Samantha Craft’s Asperger’s Ten Traits, which I couldn’t relate more. I might not survive if not for this imagined land I created for myself. I haven’t been out for 7 days. Today, I needed to plan my great escape, not from the confines of my room but an escape from the outside world which I was about to face. A sense of dreariness overcame me when I learn that the supermarket won’t deliver to my place (no direct access via vehicle). I felt like being thrown back into the boxing ring for a match I wasn’t prepared for. My hands were shaking from the thought of last week’s incidence and my heart thumping so loud I had to turn on the noise-cancelling function of my headphone to drown it out. I need an escape more than ever.

TRAVELLING BETWEEN TWO PARALLEL UNIVERSE

“The search is for a different world, in the past, present or future, that is an alternative to the world experienced by the person with Asperger’s syndrome, whose real life is often associated with a lack of success with social integration and friendships.” Tony Attwood on the creation of an alternative world in The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome

There isn’t a single day where I haven’t thought about leaving this place, unless I’m travelling. When my body isn’t wandering, my mind wanders heart and soul, it is anywhere but here. In my Wanderland, I only hear the sound of nature, my favourite music and the cat. I see wide blue skies and vast green space. I smell the grass, fresh food and the pages of my book. If a wandering mind is a sign that I’m not where I should be, will my mind ever stop wandering?

“And if I wander, I’m no burden…”

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9 thoughts on “Aspie in Wanderland

  1. Books are definitely my escape. They’ve saved my life more than once. Without a place to escape to, I don’t know that I’d be able to continue to function in this world. Great post! Sorry you have to face the food store again. Hopefully this time will be better👍💖

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks my dear friend! I was going through my Australia photo album today, so much memories they made me smile. The queue at the food store was much better today (thankfully!), it was what I’d expect. Last week was exceptionally crowded I didn’t know why. Thanks so much for reading 😊

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Sorry to hear that, my friend. I’ll be thinking and cheering for you. When the way too much is over (please let it be over soon), you will make it back to your box, hug it and kiss it to make up for all the lost time! You will! 💪😘

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you ever so much…
        To be honest, I don’t know how to act/react anymore, now that I don’t “have to” hide my autism anymore. Yesterday I became so frustrated and confused that I hit my forehead with the edge of my tablet…
        I thought it left a visible mark but it didn’t…
        I’m over 50 and feel awkward, but also strangely different, like I can have a legitimate meltdown, without being ashamed of it, or even scared of it?
        I’m still fairly new to this, so thanks for listening 🖖🤓

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Dear friend, I’m happy to listen anytime. Whatever it is that is causing your frustration and confusion, I hope it is only temporary. Getting a diagnosis in adulthood can be confusing and what seems new to you are probably things which you haven’t noticed before. I’ve cut myself in the past, no serious injury although people might say it’s self-harm but all I wanted was to release the pain I was feeling and accumulating inside. I guess growing up without a diagnosis, a lot of what we went through was mental which was confusing because I could feel the pain but it wasn’t real unless I ‘see’ it. Later on, I got a tattoo for various reasons and incidentally, I find the pain to be rather therapeutic.
        I can’t say I know what you are going through now but hopefully you will find comfort in your own refuge soon 😊

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you also for introducing me to the CWC. Great music, a bit between my listening choices -Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan…- and my playing choices, which is a fusion similar to the CWC’s guitar harmony with blues harmonica along…
    My escapes? Music and reading, and the ethereal limitlessness of my mind 🤓
    One major disagreement with CWC, as in my wanderings, I’m never my oppressor, but rather my own refuge 👣
    Take care 🖖

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yay!!👏 I’m glad you like it and thank you for reading/listening! Their music is my refuge and brings so much comfort to me the only reason I haven’t shared more is because that would be akin to divulging my secrets.😉
      It’s great you are your own refuge in your wanderings. Isn’t it great if you can be at peace with yourself? I guess what it means is if wandering is a form of escape, eventually, you’ll have to return to reality and face some tough questions like why are you escaping and who are you escaping from and sadly, more often than not, I find myself to be my own worst enemy.
      Please feel free to check out their music and feel better soon! 🎵 🎶

      Liked by 2 people

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