Friends and strangers

My dear friend,

I don’t really know how to define a friend but there are many different kinds of friendship. What I do know however, if I see you as a friend, I want your life to be as carefree and happy as possible, even if we’ve only known each other briefly, even if this is only one-sided. I can’t say for certain how important friendships are to me given we don’t see each other often, I am unlikely to invite friends over to my place and I seem so pre-occupied with my own feelings. However, once I get to know you and see you as a friend (despite my misanthropic tendencies, I do care for people who crossed my path, however brief), I might not seek help from you especially if I am aware you are dealing with your own problems because I don’t want to add to your burden or spread my negativity to you. I’d like to spare you from my dark thoughts and emotions (if you’ve been following my blog, you’d get the idea that I’m not much of an optimist). In the event I do ask for help, I must have thought it is something you can help without causing too much inconvenience or I must have considered other alternatives and came to the conclusion that there are none. In this respect, I am more likely to seek help from a friend-like stranger than a friend (there is a catch here, though).

If I don’t tell you anything, it could be I don’t trust you, or it could be you are a friend and it is precisely because of this reason, I remain silence. Also, please don’t fuss over me, intrusiveness is not my friend, you will suffocate me with your overpowering love.

Yes, I know it is not easy to be my friend. Perhaps, if we could just remain friendly strangers, that might be better.

 

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