I am not the type of person who celebrates achievements, big or small. I’ve never participate in graduation ceremonies. I had won a few academic prizes but I’ve never shared the news with my parents or others. Sure, I was happy but I didn’t really see them as huge achievements or achievements that would have a practical impact on my career. This has partly to do with my low profile personality and partly, I was brought up to believe that I am stupid. The consequence is that I now take compliments and praises with a pinch of salt. I tend to believe people say it because it is the socially appropriate thing to say or because they are kind rather than believing it to be the truth. Frustrating to people who really want to help and be encouraging but when you were brought up and repeatedly told that you weren’t good enough, it is really hard to convince me otherwise now. Any parent, teacher or anyone working with young children that happens to read this, please be careful of your language and attitude towards the child (or indeed anyone), it can have a deleterious long-term impact without you knowing.
Ever since my awareness in autism grows, I come to understand that no achievement is too small. Many things that people take for granted do not come naturally at all. A small step in the minds of those on the spectrum is a huge leap. In the spirit of this, here is a little update of what I have done so far since the beginning of 2016 to further my personal goal.
This is an experiment. I have no idea what the outcome is going to be. I’m nowhere nearer my dream but time will tell if these will end up futile attempts. People tend to prefer success and comeback stories ~ failures that eventually end up in success. These are the stories that sell. They are meant to be inspiring and motivating. However, are those who have tried but has not or did not succeed any less inspiring or motivational? It is hard enough trying to survive in a world I don’t belong to. I might be a failed experiment but I’m glad to have attempted it and on that note, I would give myself a pat on the back.
One of the reasons I started this blog is the hope to reach a wider audience. However, I know there is no such thing as a free lunch and the help has to come from myself. Nevertheless, thank you to everyone who has ever drop by to read my blog.